The upper-level editors of the Eagle’s Eyrie traveled around the West End to compare some of the most anticipated seasonal treats with their traditional counterparts.
Whopper vs. Impossible Whopper
Compared to the original Whopper, the Impossible Whopper tasted similar. When a blind taste test was done, Isaac Hull thought the Impossible Whopper was the original one. However, true meat lovers like Cannon Binns could immediately tell the difference. The patty texture was similar, but once compared there was a slight difference. “The employees at Burger King were very accommodating and even gave us crowns on the way out,” said Sarah Burroughs.
“The Impossible Whopper patty tasted like all the burnt bits of a regular burger folded into one patty.” -Cannon Binns
“Whoppers aren’t that good, to begin with, so it basically tasted like a Whopper.” -Kaitlin Dunn
Dunkin’ vs. Krispy Kreme Pumpkin Donut
There is a polarizing debate as to which donut reigns supreme: Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme. Dunkin’ has convenience due to its close proximity to Godwin, but Krispy Kreme offers fresh, hot donuts on a daily basis. Both companies released a pumpkin donut for the autumn season, with clear differences in the two. Dunkin’ is a more cake-like donut, on par texture-wise to a cake or bread, while Krispy Kreme offers a more traditional fried donut experience.
“There was a clear difference between Krispy Kreme and Dunkin’. Krispy Kreme actually tasted like a pumpkin-flavored donut, while Dunkin’ tasted like rotten pumpkin bread.” -Cannon Binns
Carrot cake Oreos vs. Original Oreos
Everyone loves traditional Oreos. What’s not to like? It’s two semisweet chocolate cookies filled with frosting. They’re perfect for dunking or simply enjoying rows at a time. The carrot cake Oreos have a carrot cake flavored cookie with cream cheese frosting flavored cream. When we tasted the carrot cake Oreos in comparison to the traditional Oreos, we were upset to say the least. The carrot cake Oreos tasted like stale carrots and sadness, and should have never been created.
“Carrot cake Oreos suck.” -Cannon Binns
“Disgusting. Never should never have been produced.” -Kaitlin Dunn
“Took one bite and threw it across the room.” -Cannon Binns
Starbucks vs. Dunkin’ Pumpkin Spice Latte
One hallmark of the autumnal season is the Pumpkin Spice Latte. Since their creation, they have become a cultural phenomenon, sparking memes, memorabilia, and spinoff items. The two main contenders in the pumpkin spice game are Dunkin’ (previously Dunkin’ Donuts) and Starbucks Coffee. Both market their pumpkin coffees in different ways, but the general consensus is the same: sugary coffee that tastes like some semblance of pumpkin. Neither taste exactly like pumpkin, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is the true spirit of the season – sugar.
“Dunkin’ tasted like the crappy coffee they have in hotel lobbies.” -Sarah Burroughs
“Have you ever tasted a pumpkin candle? That’s what a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte is.” -Kaitlin Dunn
Cheez-Its vs. Pizza Hut Cheez-Its Pizza
Staying on par with the recent trend of combining junk food with other junk food to make extreme junk food, Pizza Hut recently released cheese-stuffed Cheez-Its. The item is essentially just mozzarella sticks that have been coated with Cheez-It powder, and it tastes exactly like what you would expect them to taste. If you get them, eat them hot, because the taste was affected by the fact that they were eaten cold.
“Pizza Cheez-Its are a disgrace to actual Cheez-Its. They taste like the flavor powder of Kraft Mac n’ Cheese and required eating them with marinara sauce or ranch to make them edible. Isaac and I had to roll the windows down after picking it up because the smell was making us nauseous.” -Cannon Binns